Oh, yes, it would be my wish that you have a blessed Christmas, one full of merriness. But I’d also like you to consider being just a little bit more wary of your social networking this season and hereafter.
I share the social networking habit of Facebook, a result of the prodding by former students at both Hope College and Central Michigan University. I DO like keeping in touch with them. These are people who were precious when I was journeying with them in pursuit of knowledge and wisdom and they are no less precious to me now that they are gone from my daily sight. So, I keep up with their doings and occasionally drop a comment or two.
What alarms me is the frequency with which I can keep up with their comings and goings…they’re headed to mom and dad’s for Christmas…gonna be at the coffee shop at the corner of Main and Federal at 11, see you then. That sort of thing. Well, it tells me at least three things.
These are young people without fear of others. In many ways I think that’s lovely. Their parents have raised them in environments of trust. Who would want to raise a child to be fearful?
I know where they won’t be at thus and so time…they won’t be at the places they live. If someone wanted to break in, that’s the time and that’s the place.
I know exactly or approximately where they’ll be and when. And, even if I didn’t know them before I’d surely recognize them from the 245 photos in their albums.
If I were a stalker this would give me more than I needed to have every advantage in the situation.
Consider this scenario:
The daughter of a friend dated a fellow for about five minutes half a decade ago. He was a little odd and the more she knew him, the odder he seemed. She broke off the friendship. So, this Christmas her mother received an unwanted communication that could be considered threatening to her daughter. Add to that the daughter has been posting her intentions to visit the family condo in a warmer climate. It’s an area that turns out to be within an hour’s drive of the return address on the envelopes. Details abound on line for the address of the family’s condo. A little research and this stalker COULD know where and when this young woman will be.
She had opened her Facebook to make it public so prospective employers could see that she doesn’t talk trash. It’s a good intent but with unintended consequences: now everybody can know of her plans. But even if the account were private, would it really be private? Friend requests may come fast and furious and there is no guarantee that the gal who says she’s Stephanie from your sociology class is really Stephanie. He could be Stephen. And there are friends who are fast and loose with their accounts…they let their buds have access. Their friends with benefits will likely not be yours. Finally, there is the cussed deviousness of people who crave information. They can weave a pretty amazing web from a fact here and a fact there, information that’s not factual, too, can have real value. The idea that somebody thinks you’re cute or hot or…?
Having access to the whole world through the internet is wonderful. Our lives are vastly changed. But it also means the whole world has access to us. We cannot protect ourselves in all situations. The fact of our daily life makes us more available and identifiable. But there are a few things we can do:
Keep your social networking posting private unless there is a compelling reason to do otherwise.
Never post where you will be and when. The only time to write about a trip is AFTER it’s happened. If your friends have to know where you will be going, individually e-mail or call ’em.
Be alert to oddities…a car that you see too many times, a glimpse of somebody you used to know, but someone who doesn’t seem to want to be observed. Be warned at run-ins that seem casual but are out of the realms of logical possibility. They MAY be coincidence, but what are the chances?
Figure out where friends are if you need them. If there are no friends close by, are there others you can enlist if you’re threatened? At least make a BIG noise; never go quietly.
Be alert to potentially dangerous situations, but if you find yourself in one don’t just think it’s your imagination; pay attention to your intuition. There is almost always a point in a threatening situation where you can evade the danger if you recognize it for what it is.
Okay, okay, enough. There are hundreds of web sites out there that will teach you how to defend yourself. I’m not qualified to tell you a good one from a bad one. Defensive weapons? I don’t know.
Just be aware of what you post and for whom. Imagine what could happen if…. Be aware. Be wary.
